Law Abiding Citizen

Maybe its just the fact that I don’t love Jamie Foxx as much as everyone else but I found myself look for excuses to root for Gerard Butler’s character throughout, even though he was about as crazy as a movie character can be and Foxx played a man of justice. I’m pretty sure everyone starts off rooting for Butler…and then he goes and does something real crazy and mangles a couple guys. But because those guys had it coming, most people were still probably in Butler’s corner…and then he goes and kills some more people. But because these people were innocent, I’d be willing to bet this turned the majority of the audience against him. Not me. I found myself saying, “Ehh, sure this dude is bat-shit crazy but I probably would be too if I were in his shoes.” But then he kills some more defenseless people and I found it a lot tougher to make a case validating what he does. It’s predictable but still suspenseful, intensely violent but not too graphic, smart but not convoluted, and Gerard Butler gets back to what he’s good at- FSU (F***ing S*** Up), verdict: $$$$

Clash of the Titans

While it was as life altering a movie going experience as I had hoped, I still really liked Clash of the Titans. Seeing the movie in 3D added almost nothing to that experience. It didn’t detract from the movie too greatly other than it made me think, imagine how cool this could have been had the 3D not be a let down. Regardless, this is still definitely a theatre movie. I’ve heard complaints about how the writing is bad, the acting is flat and the action isn’t really that actiony. While I agree that none of these areas really stood out more than the rest, I felt that they were all quite solid. Worthington, who as you may recall from previous entries, is my boy. He won’t win an Oscar for this but its quite hard to imagine anyone else playing this part. The actress who played Io, Gemma Arterton, was perfectly cast. She and Worthington had a good deal of chemistry, and she more than held her in own in a movie with some fairly big names, plus she’s not bad to look at. Those minor roles were also cast very well. The band of misfit soldiers who accompany Perseus just seem to work as a group. I would have liked it if they could have found a way to focus more on the dynamic between Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes but I don’t see a way to do that without substantially dragging out the major story line. They also talk about the limited character development that occurs, and how Perseus goes from goofy fishermen to legendary warrior almost overnight. It’s a two hour movie; you can’t lay everything out in great detail. The director is giving the audience enough credit that they can figure out that when Perseus is thrust into this environment, his god-like instincts take over and he is able to rise to the challenge in front of him. The monsters looked great; they weren’t quite iconic but they were no way comedic in appearance. I would have liked to have seen them do more with either the battle between Perseus and the Kraken, or Perseus and Hades. However, they have set themselves up quite well for an intense sequel, as much less time would have to be devoted to back story. As somehow who is fascinated by Greek mythology (yes, I did have a girlfriend or two in high school) I really can’t wait to see more installments, as well as other myth-based movies, verdict: $$$$

She’s Out of My League

She’s Out of My League is simply out of its league when compared with the Hangover. This movie is fairly funny, providing modest chuckles, as well as a few legitimate belly laughs. However, it is so outrageously stupid, although the chick is outrageously hot (just felt obligated to meet my quota for references to hot actresses making movies more watchable), that it is hard to take it seriously enough to consider a successful comedy. If you watch this movie, you’ll be decently entertained for an hour and half but if I asked you about it a week later, you probably won’t be able to tell me what about it you found funny. Because if it is every bit as forgettable as it is funny, the verdict is: $$$

Trying to play ketchup...I mean catch-up

Due to a big snow storm which left me trapped in parent’s home for 11 days, I got really log jammed on reviews. Since I am so behind I am doing brief summaries of most of the movies I watched in order to catch back up.

The Proposition: The best word to describe this film may be: gritty. It’s both realistic and unrealistic at the same time. The setting seems real, the characters feel real, but at the same time it seems a bit outlandish which somehow makes you think its some unbelievable that it works. There’s great acting, great writing, it’s eventful and odds are it’s like no movie you’ve ever seen before. As I have mentioned before, I have a strange love affair with Guy Pearce as an actor. I cannot really explain it, so I don’t expect anyone to understand it, but whether you like him or not, you’ll appreciate his performance, verdict: $$$$

Zombieland: This movie is funny. I had low expectations to begin with and the start of this movie did not help that. In fact, in a move I rarely make, I almost turned it off after the first few minutes. In some misguided attempt to make it up to myself for quitting my baseball team in eighth grade, I try to finish what I start which can be a real pain when reading a bad book more so than a bad movie. But I digress; the beginning of this movie is a little bit more graphic than what I anticipated. From that point on however, the movie establishes a fair balance between gory, zombie movie and comedy. The cameo in this movie is great, mostly because I didn’t see it coming. Since no one ruined it for me beforehand, I won’t ruin it for you either, as it was a legitimate highlight of this movie for some reason I don’t fully understand. Woody Harrelson will forever be my boy because of his stunn ing role in White Men Can’t Jump, so for that reason (and the fact that it’s really funny, as I may have mentioned already) I think you should look into Netflixing this one, verdict: $$$$

Surrogates: Movies should take some advice from the military and be all that they can be, however this also means knowing their limitations. I often criticize movies for trying to do too much. That is clearly the case here. One would think, that Bruce Willis (the man rode a Harrier jet in one movie for F’s sake) + robots = ass kicking, edge of your seat, head butt your girlfriend cuz you “can’t believe Bruce just F’ing did that,” type of action. Wrong. This movie had the potential to be a lesser version of I, Robot but they squandered that opportunity by trying to introduce this terribly awkward subplot where Bruce battles his inner demons and tries to reconnect with emotionally distant wife. Borrriiinnnggg. I like Bruce Willis when he: A.) kicks bad guy’s asses B.) kicks slightly less ass but is funny about it or C.) is the bad guy and then kicks ass (I got wayyyy too much enjoyment from him blowing off Jack Black’s arm with a rifle that can only be described as a cannon). This movie should not have had an delusions about being an action/sci-fi/drama hybrid. Next time, cut out the misplaced mushiness and stick to your story’s strengths, verdict: $$$

The Machinist

I may have mentioned once, or maybe like 6 times, that I like Christian Bale. Based on that sound reasoning, I decided to Netflix some of his older movies. Hard to believe I don’t own them all already, right? I have always been trying to Netflix a lot of what I call “crazy movies,” that leave you with your jaw hanging to the floor or you scratching your head, or some combination of those two things. A crazy movie can either “wow” you with its intense action, suspense, plot twists, or totally dialed-in acting performances. The Machinist is a crazy movie. Not because of anyone of these elements, but because of a combination of them all. The action is limited, but is intense when it occurs. Yes, I have a decent vocabulary, but no other word but “intense” would do justice to this movie. This movie is very suspenseful, although semi-predictable. The same can be said of the plot twists. I honestly do not think it is bias at work here, but Bale’s performance was Oscar worthy. This isn’t the greatest movie, but his performance makes it very worthwhile to watch. The best word for it is “dedicated.” The dude lost extreme amounts of weight, even when he probably didn’t have to, just in the interest of truly embracing the character he was portraying. If you can stomach watching a fairly solid, but not amazing movie (with some strange elements) just to appreciate good acting, then definitely rent this. If you aren’t up for that, well, your loss because it’s still worth watching regardless, verdict for Bale’s performance: $$$$$, verdict for the remaining elements of the film: $$$, overall verdict: $$$$

The Hurt Locker

The Hurt Locker hurts so good (or hurts so well according to grammar check…but that just doesn’t sound right, or near as corny). Instead of me writing a ton about a movie that has been reviewed to death, I’m gonna keep it short and to the point. It’s pretty damn good. Its not Best Picture good, but it’s a very solid movie. Again, all the major reviews will in fact review the finer points of this film, so allow me to touch on a few things that I didn’t like. I like Guy Pearce as an actor for some very, very odd reason (I know I can’t really figure it out either). Nothing bothers me more in movies than strange cameos by name actors that would have been just as easily played by some no-name guy. Spoiler Alert!!! Guy Pearce is in this movie. Guy Pearce is killed off after 1 minute of screen time in this movie. This strange cameo, although, not as strange as an earlier cameo of his I mentioned (see The Road review), started the movie off on a sour point for me. I totally forgot about this movie making mistake (that’s called alliteration if you were wondering) pretty quickly considering he gets totally blown to shit and the movie only picks upsteam from here. The casting is perfect, even the dude who I’m pretty sure played Tupac in Notorious. No huge name actors in this one (Ralph Fiennes does play a small part), which ends up being a really good thing. Watching Tom Cruise defuse bombs for two hours, in place of Jeremy Renner (who should get some Oscar consideration), would have made this movie unwatchable. It works because they are recognizable enough actors that you know they are pretty solid but not so recognizable that they don’t seem totally believable in their roles. Like I said, its really good. Almost everyone who watches will really like it, or at the very least appreciate why other people really, really liked it, verdict: $$$$ {Really, really close to $$$$$, seriously, Netflix it already).

Next

I recently watched the movie Next on TV. Hey, don’t trash my taste in movies because of it, I was sick, and there was nothing else on, and I was putting off doing my homework, and did I mention I was sick, deliriously sick? Pretty much the only nice things I have to say about this movie involve Jessica Biel, so in order to prevent me getting carried away, let’s just leave that one alone. This movie is enough to justify either intense loathing or envy toward Nicholas Cage. He makes out with the hottest women on the planet (see Jessica Biel mention earlier), gets paid tons of cash to look goofy, AND puts out a lot of movies that fall somewhere on the spectrum between mediocre and trash, all why needing a haircut. Badly. I just can’t seem to hate on the guy too much for this, its not his fault movie execs are suckers and people still pay to see his 90 minute life distractions, verdict: $$$

{Disclaimer: No, I did not think this was a good movie (AT ALL), as I mentioned. Nor, would I recommend anyone go out of there way to watch it. But, as far as shitty movies on FX at 6pm on a Tuesday, you could do a lot worse- well, maybe not a whole lot worse. But that’s my reasoning as to why this movie received $$$...that and Jessica Biel, of course.}